Thursday, July 23, 2015

Mom's Separation Anxiety from children 22 May 2014

Two backpacks and one cabin baggage trolley bag. 

My children went on a two weeks journey to New Zealand without me and my husband.  It was a road trip around the north island with five other relatives.
They grinned from ear to ear when I asked if they would like to join them for this trip.

And I remember John Holt said "Any child who can spend an hour or two a day, or more if he wants to, with adults that he likes, who are interested in the world, and like to talk about it, will on most days learn far more from their talk than he would learn in a week in school. Children make their own paths into the unknown, paths that we would never think of making for them"

My almost 7 year old child asked if it is alright that she goes alone for this trip without her older sibling.
 "I  AM ready to go on my own" so she exclaimed. I told her " Yes! But you can do it the next time as your sibling would like to go to New Zealand too"

I truly believe we do not need to push children into independence. They will fly the nest when they are ready.

A day before the trip, my 10 year old said to me " Mom, I will miss you so much that I will not know how to enjoy myself ".
The feeling was mutual. And I knew having this awful feeling would not help. I have to get up and be FINE.

So I said " I will miss you too. But I will enjoy myself. And that doesn't mean I don't miss you. We can miss someone and enjoy ourselves too."

I think I was beginning to miss them that one night (before they leave!!), I dreamt of walking back home after sending them to the airport. It was cold and lonely. The corridor seemed longer and dimmer. It was not a pleasant feeling at all. Gosh.

The morning came where we bade farewell at the departure hall. She waved goodbye bravely and said "I will have fun, mom."

As I  drove home alone, I realised I  wasn't used to the silence in the car. The silence that I used to long for all the time while ferrying two chatty passengers.
So I turned on the car radio. Guess what! It belted out  "Nooobody said it was easy" (by Coldplay).
It sent tears streaming down my face. ( yeah, go ahead and laugh ! )

I guess this is a "Mother's Separation Anxiety!!", isn't it?

Autumn in Hamilton, New Zealand. 

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