How do I cope with "Sibling Rivalry"? 25 February 2010

Thursday evening.
I was totally out of my wit on seeing EnHui scuffled over the puzzle, "small yi" bought from Bangkok,  a lovely piece of puzzle with a love message. I am so ashamed of myself for getting worked-up over it and let negative thoughts took over.

I, as a parent, should help my children regulate their emotion by working with them and be a role-model. If I can't control my anger and merely vent, I am not regulating my emotion in a positive way.

I have failed to see the world through my children's eyes. The things that caused them pain often are different from the things that caused me pain. I don't want to be treated differently or judged when I expressed my emotion and I shouldn't have done so to my little children. A child should be treated as an individual and respect.

EnHui are not yet able to settle every conflict in words and are in the process of learning it. EnHui love each other very much. They protect each other when dad plays "Minotaur" and chase them. Many times, Hui says to En, " I LOVE you". En replies lovingly with a louder voice "I LOVE YOU". This will happen to and fro a few more times before it finally ends up with hugs and kisses. Most of the time, they play along well and take care of each other.

It's okay to show negative emotion, sadness, fear or crying. I must demonstrate positive ways of coping with my own anger and negative feelings as they are watching me on how I regulate my emotions.  Let's welcome  sibling conflict' at home, as a process of learning to get along and a lesson on discussing things over.

Does a 32 months old, Hui knows what she wants? 21 February 2010

Sunday night.
Hui has outgrown her current shoe and didn't like all the old shoes of her current size (no pink!). Finally, she wears a white & pink, old sport shoe of a LARGER size.

So, we decided to get her a new pair of shoe. Hui strolled along the rows of shoes and fell for a pair of white shoe with pink ribbon.

 Dad said "It's white base and gets dirty easily". He offered her a similar one with pink base. Hui didn't want. She pointed to the white one. She is so sure that this is the pair she wants. And I talked to her about it. She said "I won't cry if it gets dirty". I explained again 'it's not wise since it gets dark so easily and need washing frequently". She was silent for a while. Then, she took the size 24, pink one that dad offered, put it on and agreed to buy this pair.

Dad saw this size fit with no extra allowance and it'll be outgrown pretty soon. So, he asked for a size 25. Suprisingly, Hui refused to take out her size 24 and exchange with a size 25. ! We were confused as it's the same pair of different size.  We told her "it's the same". She protested and insisted she will take the size 24 she is wearing. Again, I explain to her that it's not value for money and we need to buy a size slightly bigger. Finally, she agreed reluctantly and tried the size 25 pair. When she put on one side, she whined, "don't want", took if off and wanted the size 24 pair.
I took the two pair and lo and behold!, size 25 pair has a bit of different from size 24. The different is not prominent at all and Hui was able to tell from the start! Dad and I agreed that we shouldn't be forcing her to wear something she doesn't like.
So, dad asked Hui to choose between the white pair (the first pair that Hui fell for) and the size 25 pink one.
Hui happily took back the white one. After that, we realised we shouldn't offer the white pair as it's gets dirty easily. Shamefully, I tried to convince Hui to take size 25 pink pair and she shook her head. Voila! She is decisive! and certainly knows what she wants.

We finally didn't get any and went to another shop.
This time, she fell for the pair that we agreed!

RM29.90 Bubble Gummers, Bata shop.

En who watched all the commotion, kept silence. When she returned home, she ran to get some cardboards, colours and scissors. She measured the size of Hui's foot and wanted to make a pair of shoes for her!!

En's self-made cardboard slip on.

She said "Model name - lollipop. Designer - Ng Zhang En. It doesn't has to be the same for both sides"